Chapter 8: Encouraging and responding to questions

When there are no answers


I've been there
Cath describes talking with her children about what would happen to grandpa's spirit and body after he died. (3:22)Video transcript
The expert says
Andrea Warnick, children's grief therapist, talks about answering children's tough questions. (3:22)Video transcript


Where is daddy now?

If only the good die young, does that mean I'm not good?

Where does the part go that isn't the body?

Will I see Jesus come to get mommy?

If God chose to make my brother an angel, does this mean God doesn't like me?

Is it okay that I'm angry at God?

Why did this happen?

Is there a heaven?

Is granny looking down on me? Does she see everything I do? How do I get her to stop?
If my papa comes back as a baby, how will I know it's him?

Some of life's biggest questions have no answers. Questions about why, fairness and injustice, and spirituality may be particularly difficult to answer. 

While some religions and cultures provide direction, many parents find themselves with the same questions their children are asking. It's okay to say: I don't know or let your children know you are wondering about that too. 

The word mystery can be helpful. It can be profound for children to realize there are many unanswerable questions even for adults.

When curiosity is supported at all ages, you and your children can grow closer as you wonder about life's mysteries together.